Thursday, September 13, 2012

Can't stop dreaming, until you're by my side.




I was sitting on my balcony, looking up at the sky, and hoping this time I'll get to see much more stars than the last time. Fully disappointed, I took a breathe-out, and told my mom "come here". I showed her the sky, and no stars, and she told me "we're not living at the North Pole, to see the stars clearly", and for the first time in this summer a strange feeling come in my stomach... loneliness. ✖ I lost almost 10 kg, and my old clothes are not good anymore, so yesterday i went to Takko, and bought a lot of shirts, t-shirts, and 2 pairs of jeans. (they had this big 50% off sale at everything you bought)  ✖  I'm dreaming at first day of school, hoping not to forget at what station i have to come down, and switch the lines, and make a lot of scenarios in my head, with me smiling and meeting a lot of cool kids, but somehow the dark part of my mind, has this big influence on me and gives me this fear of anything. ✖  I know someone up there loves me, and will hepl me to get through this year, and with a little bit of luck, I am not going to need any help on building up the person I've become. (much more confident, and strong)

Stăteam pe balcon, uitându-mă la cer, sperând că de data asta am să văd stelele mult mai clar decât data trecută. Complet dezamăgită, am expirat, şi i-am spus mamei mele, "vin-o aici". I-am arătat cerul, fără stele, iar ea mi-a spus "nu trăim la Polul Nord ca să vedem stelele atât de clar", şi pentru prima oară în vara asta un sentiment ciudat mi-a venit în stomac... singurătate.    Aproape am slăbit 10 kg, iar hainele mele vechi nu îmi mai sunt bune, aşa că ieri am mers în Takko, şi am cumpărat o groază de cămăşi, bluze, şi 2 perechi de blugi. (aveau 50% discount la orice cumpărai) ✖  Visez la prima zi de şcoală, sperând să nu mă pierd pe la metrou şi să uit la ce staţie să mă dau jos, şi fac o groază de scenarii în mintea mea, cu mine zâmbind şi cunoscând mulţi adoleşcenţi drăguţi, dar cumva partea întunecată a minţii mele, are această imensă influenţă asupra mea, care mă face să îmi fie frică de orice se va întâmpla.   Ştiu că cineva acolo sus mă iubeşte, şi mă va ajuta să trec cu bine peste acest an, iar cu puţin noroc, nu o să am nevoie deloc de ajutor să construiesc persoana care am devenit. (mult mai încrezătoare în propriile puteri şi puternică)


14 comments:

  1. I miss the stars, the only sad thing about living in NYC.

    /Avy

    http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you !
    Stars make me feel lonely too sometimes :c
    x

    ReplyDelete
  3. nu stiu de ce, dar mie stelele imi dau asa un sentiment de liniste,relaxare totala...nicidecum singuratate :)

    un nou an de scoala te asteapta,noi peripetii,noi zambete,noi prieteni poate...fi puternica si bucura-te de toate,bune ori rele :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love the stars!! Thanks for the nice comments!
    Eli

    ReplyDelete
  5. Am o intrebare ciudata rau...
    Cum ai slabit 10 kg?:">

    ReplyDelete
  6. I read your words. And I looked at your picture. Now I have the same feeling you do, Lexxie: You're going to have a really good school year.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh thank you. Hope you do the same!
      Thanks for your sweet comments! xx

      Delete
  7. LOve the pic of yours!

    Love,Nyt
    from
    BIG hair LOUD mouth

    ReplyDelete
  8. Good luck :) I love that photo of you xx

    ReplyDelete
  9. love this photo :D
    I'll follow you! :>

    ReplyDelete
  10. amazing photos on your blog!

    would you like to follow each other at GFC and bloglovin? :)

    Love, Anja
    --------------------
    www.theartoffashion-anja.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. I love the picture. You look stunning and you have good reasons to be self-confident.

    XX,
    Jenny

    PS.: Great blog. Maybe we could follow each other?

    ReplyDelete

I'm really sorry but I'm not in any photo on my blog.
Anyway, I love all the comments you leave here, and I'm pretty sure they will make my day. Thank you! ❤ ❤