Wednesday, December 25, 2013

I know they say that some things are better left unsaid.

Money money money, "it's just papaer, but it affects people like poetry".
Outside is cold and I love it. It makes me feel something. Walking around this big city is wonderful. the lights, the people that run on you everyday... everything is beautiful. They all got their minds full of shit,  and when you walk by they don't even see you,like you are invisible, and that is a good damn feeling. Listening to music and driving around really makes me feel better. It makes my head go all dark. No thoughts. No nothing.
Oh, and then you show up with those really good jokes and great personality. I don't even know why I like you so much and why I can't get you out of my mind. You just make me wonder about a lot of things. I never see you in my dreams, and it hurts a lot. I have only nightmares, and I hate that. I want to get to know you. I want you. I really do. I don't think I've ever felt something like this.
I like you for what you are. All your flaws make you seem flawless, for me.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

I watched it all in my head, perfect sense.

Outside was freaking cold and my knees were shaking so hard that I thought I would fall to the ground. We were just sitting there smoking some cigarettes, as usual. But this time something was different. He was different. There were a lot of people around us but when he put himself in front of me, his blue eyes were bruttaly staring into mine, my heart stopped. I couldn’t breathe, and I felt the blood getting warmer in my veins. I put the cigarette back in my mouth trying to keep calm and not showing out the excitement I felt. But he continued starring into my eyes. His eyes were different. He was already high. So I starred into his eyes, and told him to stop, hoping he would say something nice, but instead he just beautifully smiled at me and let his eyes hit the cold dark ground. I felt really bad about it so I left.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Dear A,

I haven’t wrote to you in a really long time.

Last week I was on your blog. I got bored, and scrolled down. 

I wasn’t expecting you to write about me. It was nice of you, to talk about me. To be honest I never expected you to even remember my name; I thought I was dead for you, burried in a box of memories. 

It’s funny and sad at the same time, how we got in the same highschool, see around school, and never talk one to each other. So many memories cross my mind when I see you. So many things happend to both of us. Sometimes I lay in my bed and think of you. I have sleeping and concentration issues, for some time. I remember you and I wonder what happend in your life. I can see that it had it ups and down, and I don’t know if right now it is an up or a down, but I can’t really do anything about it. I don’t have enough courage to come and talk with you. I just don’t. Sorry…

And yeah it is true. For your birthday I wrote a really nice thing that I planned to send to you, but I gave up. I just didn’t knew how you would react to it. I was scared. Such a coward. I am such a big coward and I know that. I got used to it. 

I know you changed a lot, like most of us, but I hope that in essence you are still the same person I considered my best friend, almost 3 years ago.

Good night, 

your friend A.

PS: I hope you got to read the thing I wrote about you. It’s tagged with “mine”, and it’s a photo.