Friday, April 20, 2012

I can't choose what stays and what fades away.

Tomorrow I'm leaving... I'll leave this place full of hopeless, who led me in this confused situation. I don't even know how I should feel about this. Should I be totally messed up, or should I be happy. And it only comes in waves and then goes away, like I've never been there. Right now I'm standing in that fucking lobby, with my laptop, writing in here, and sometimes looking at that fucking door, for someone to come in. It never happens. In few hours I'll be in my car, driving somewhere I've been two years ago.

Maine plec... O sa parasesc acel loc lipsit de speranta, are m-a ondus in aceasta situatie confuza. Nici maar nu stiu cum ar trebui sa ma simt in aceasta situatie. Ar trebui sa fiu cu totul inurcata, sau ar trebui sa fiu fericita. Si totul vine numai in valuri, apoi dispare ca si um nici nu as fi fost aici. Chiar acuma stau in acest hol tampit, cu laptopul in brate, sriind ceva aici, si uneori uitandu-ma spre usa, asteptand sa intre cinevaaa. Niciodata nu se intampla. In cateva ore o sa fiu in masina, conducand spre un loc unde am mai fost si acum doi ani.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

It only comes in waves, and then it goes away...

In a room full of emptiness, I was lost in the pages of a book full of death.

So much thoughts are running back in forth trough my mind. And I'm talking to myself 'does this real?' , 'do I have any chance?', 'this is all in my mind?'. And I think I'm getting crazy... The room is full of people, but I feel like I'm all alone in a frozen room, where I can see my breath... Until, I realized. Behind a cigarette is staying that guy. That curly guy. What the fuck? Room is full! Music is turned on out loud though that song is a slow one. Very quick, he extinguish the cigarette (who's not even done), get up from his table, and moving to the front door. My soul exults, because I can see right now a lot of details... The same kind of punk-rock bracelet... He opens the door. He turns around to close the door, and that is when I see those black eyes, looking deep inside mine and that beautiful smile. His shadow is the only one that was left behind... And I'm still confused.

Atatea ganduri care alearga prin mintea mea. Si vorbesc cu mine insami 'asta este real?', 'am vreo sansa?', este tot in capul meu?'. Si cred ca o iau razna. Incaperea este plina de oameni, dar eu ma simt ca si cum as sta intr-o camera inghetata, unde imi pot vedea respiratia... Pana am realizat. In spatele unei tigari sta acel tip. Cretul. Ce naiba? Camera este plina de oameni. Muzica este data tare, chiar daca melodia este unua lenta. Foarte reepede el stinge tigara (care nici macar nu este terminata), se ridica de la masa lui, si se indreapta spre usa din fata. Sufletul meu tresalta, pentru ca acuma pot vedea atat de multe detalii... Are acelasi tip de bratara punk-rock... Deschide usa. Se intoarce ca sa inchida usa, iar acela este momentul cand vad acei ochi negri, uitandu-se profun in ai mei, si acel zambet frumos. Umbra lui este singurul lucru care ramane in urma... Si inca sunt confuza.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Back and forth through my mind, behind a cigarette.

I'm gonna fight 'em all. A nation army couldn't hold me back. They're gonna rip it off, taking their time right behind my back. And I'm talking to myself at night, because I can't forget, back and forth through my mind, behind a cigarette, and the message coming from my eyes, says 'leave it alone'. Don't want to hear about it, every single one's got a story to tell, everyone knows about it, from the Queen of England to the hounds of hell. And if I catch it coming back my way, I'm gonna serve it to you, and that ain't what you want to hear, but that's what I'll do, and the feeling coming from my bones, says 'find a home'. I'm going to Wichita, far from this opera for evermore. I'm gonna work the straw, make the sweat drip out of every pore. And I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding, right before the lord. All the words are gonna bleed from me, and I will sing no more. And the stains coming from my blood, tell me 'go back home'. 

Monday, April 16, 2012

Flying at the speed of light, thoughts were spinning in my head.

This is not the end, this is not the beginning. Just a voice like a riot rocking every revision, but you listen to the tone and the violent rhythm. Though the words sound steady something empty's within them, we say yeah with fists flying up in the air, like we're holding onto something that's invisible there, ‘cause we're living at the mercy of the pain and the fear, until we dead it, forget it, let it all disappear
Waiting for the end to come, wishing I had strength to stand. This is not what I had planned, it's out of my control. Flying at the speed of light, thoughts were spinning in my head. So many things were left unsaid. It's hard to let you go…
I know what it takes to move on. I know how it feels to lie. All I want to do, is trade this life for something new, holding on to what I haven't got.
Sitting in an empty room, trying to forget the past. This was never meant to last. I wish it wasn't so.
I know what it takes to move on. I know how it feels to lie. All I want to do, is trade this life for something new. Holding on to what I haven't got.
What was left when that fire was gone, I thought it felt right but that right was wrong, all caught up in the eye of the storm, and trying to figure out what it's like moving on, and I don't even know what kind of things I said. My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead. So I'm picking up the pieces, now where to begin, the hardest part of ending is starting again.
This is not the end, this is not the beginning, just a voice like a riot rocking every revision. But you listen to the tone and the violent rhythm. Though the words sound steady something empty's within them. We say yeah with fists flying up in the air, like we're holding onto something that's invisible there, ‘cause we're living at the mercy of the pain and the fear, until we dead it, forget it let it all disappear...

I think I've never post a Linkin Park song, or at least I post a verse from In The End, but I'm not sure about that. I mean I love those guys, but I never feel like posting them in here. Their music sounds so different...
Here is the concert from Red Square that I've been listening for a while because it's just fucking good. This one starts at 29:15, and I just want you to realize that they're very good live. I love Mike!


Happy Easter!

 I didn't had the chance to wish you all a Happy Easter. Mine far now is pretty good, and I can see that the rst of it will be better. This last week of vacantion, I'll spend in a pool with warm water. Haaa, it's good. 

Friday, April 13, 2012

If music's to loud, you're too old!

It's like 23 in the night, I don't want to go to sleep, and the best way to spend my time is to watch some live bands in concert. For some other people ROCK, is so loud, but for me is so relaxing, and I feel very good when I'm listening to this kind of music.

I love to listen Simple Plan, because it's nice to see so much feelings coming from a guy! 
Sorry I can't be perfect!

The Pretty Reckless. I can't get over them!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

There's not a time, for being younger, and all my friends, are enemies.

Lay my head, under the water, lay my head, under the sea. Excuse me sir, am I your daughter? Won't you take me back, take me back and see? There's not a time, for being younger, and all my friends, are enemies, and if I cried unto my mother, no she wasn't there, she wasn't there for me. Don't let the water drag you down (Don't let the water drag you down), don't let the water drag you down. Broken lines, across my mirror, show my face, all red and bruised, and though I screamed and I screamed, well no one came running.
No I wasn't saved, I wasn't safe from you. Don't let the water drag you down (Don't let the water drag you down). Don't let me drown, don't let me drown in the waves, oh, I could be found, I could be what you had saved, (saved, saved, saved).
Lay my head, under the water, aloud I pray, for calmer seas, and when I wake from this dream, with chains all around me. No, I've never been, I've never been free. No, I've never been, I've never been free. No, I've never been, I've never been free!

Awesome song. The Pretty Reckless are getting better and better every day. This is kind of a new short album where they also have Hit Me Like A Man (who's just magnificent),  Cold Blooded , Since You're Gone Live (best version live ever!, they're one of those bands who can be proud with their live versions.), and for the end their best song, Make Me Wanna Die Live . I love Taylor, how I'm sure you already realized. She's just fuckin' amaizing! And please, don't get me wrong, I love the entire band, because without them The Pretty Reckless was never here.

I've been underwater, breathing out and in

Don't ask me why, because I could never respond. I just did it. I started to cry, aparently without a reason, but somewhere deep inside of me I knew why I did it. I neded just one tear, because I neded to get out of me all the pressure I got.

Nu mă întreba de ce, pentru că nu aş putea vreodată să îţi răspund. Doar am făcut-o. Am început să plâng, aparent fără nici un motiv, dar undeva adânc înăuntrul meu am avut foarte multe motive. Am avut nevoie de o singură lacrimă, pentru că trebuia să scot toată presiune din mine. 

Monday, April 9, 2012

Human beings.

Human beings are not the strongest species on the planet. We're not the fastest, and maybe even the smartest. The one advantage that we have, is our ability to cooperate... to help each other out. We recognize ourselves in each other, and we're programed for compasion, for heroism, for love. And those things make us stronger, faster,.. and smarter. This is why we survived. This is why we want to. _______________________________________________________

Oamenii nu sunt cea mai puternică specie de pe planetă. Nu suntem cei mai rapizi, şi poate nici cei mai inteligenţi. Avantajul pe care îl avem, este abilitatea noastră de a coopera... de a ne ajuta unul pe celălalt. Ne recunoaştem pe noi înşine în ceilalţi, şi suntem programaţi pentru comasiune, eroism, dragoste. Iar aceste lucruri ne fac mai puternici, mai rapizi... mai isteţi. Acesta este motivul pentru care am supravieţuit. De aceea vrem să supravieţuim. 
-Touch season 1 episode3.-

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Alone but never lonely.

7 bilion people living on a tiny planet, suspendet in a vastness of space... all alone. How we make sense of that was the biggest mistery of our fragile existence. Maybe being alone, in the universe, holds up together. Keeps us need one another in this most shiftless ways. Creating a quantum entainment... of you... of me... of us. And if that is really true, than we live on a world where everything's possible.

7 milione de oameni trăiesc pe aceiaşi planetă minusculă, suspendată în vastitatea spaţiului... singuri-singurei. Modul în care i-am dat sens, este marele mister al fragilei noastre existenţe. Poate faptul că suntem singuri, în univers, ne ţine laolaltă. Ne face să avem nevoie unul de celălalt, în cele mai neputincioase moduri. Creând un amestec cuantic... din tine... din mine... din noi. Şi dacă chiar este adevărat, atunci trăim într-o lume unde totul este posibil.
-Touch season 1 episode 2-

Hold onto this lullaby.

I started to read again. This book is "The Secret Circle", and I kind of like it by now. I had this for like 2 months but I didn't have the time to read. Fortunattely now I have, because I'm in Spring Vacantion. Ole' !!!

Am început să citesc din nou. Această carte este "Cercul Secret", şi pot să zic că într-un fel, chiar îmi place. O am cam de 2 luni, dar nu am avut timp să citesc. Din fericire acuma am, pentru că sunt în Vacanţa de Primăvară.. Ole' !!!

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Life in the moonlight, and blood on my hands.

It's again night. Moon shows through the clouds. I'm standing on my feet, hoping for this night to never end. It's the most beautiful and magical moment of the day, quiet and peaceful place. I want wings to flew away in the stormy night, and forget this day. It goes insane, and I don’t know how to control it. I’m still confused. I’m drowning in this situation. I started to read again. This is not a good thing. I want to escape... 

Este din nou noapte. Luna se arată dintre nori. Stau în picioare, speraând ca această noapte să nu se termine niciodată. Este cel mai frumos si mai magic moment al zilei, cel mai mut si liniştitor loc. Vreau aripi cu care să zbor în noaptea furtunoasă, pentru a uita această zi. Este de-a dreptul nebunesc, şi nu ştiu cum să controlez lucrurile. Sunt încă confuză. Mă înnec în această situaţie. Am început să citesc din nou. Nu este un lucru bun. Vreau să evadez...

Friday, April 6, 2012

HELL is empty, and all the devil are here.

I'm a WHORE because I have large breasts.
I'm FAKE because I dress the way I want.
I'm IMMATURE because I share my story.
I'm FAT because I'm not a size two.
I'm CRAZY because I do what I want. 

Don't you dare to look out your window.

It's like everything I'm trying to do, don't work out. My brain brings you back to me. Last night I dream about you. I don't even remeber what actually happend, but what bothers me was why you were there? I don't want you! I deleted you from everything that belongs to me: my thoughts, my feelings, my everything.... Just everything. Get the fuck out of my mind!
How someone once told me: "Don't you expect great things from people, because they everytime give you less than you deserve." And I really believed that man, and he was right.

Heart shapped box.

This is the last song Nirvana sang in 1994 in their last concert in Germany. 
It's not the best of their songs, but I like very much the lyrics.
The video is very scary, but also very true. 
R.I.P. Curt. 
destroy what destroys you.

Thursday, April 5, 2012


It sounds crazy and dumb, but anyway... when I hear a sexy voice like this one I could not handle myself, so, here it's Justin's new single. I can't suffer him, but with this one, I made up my mind. I don't like the thing that every little girl felt in love with that little Justin, the kid, and now they started to judge him. I like all grow up Justin! he's kind of sexy.
Don't take this seriously. This is just a exception... Nothing serious.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

We live to leave the past behind.

-another awesome thing Mike told me, today.-

Big dreams. Gangsters.
Do you know how is to love no, not love. (love is a big thing, and you should never play with it)...mmm... to have a crush on someone, and never have the courage to say that out lound?Ough, well I have this thing, for too much time inside of me, and I still don't see what I find special to that guy. I mean he's more than normal, and he's not even my tipe, but he still have something... something. Shit. Look what I've done! I become too emotional, too deep, too not me. 
I always say no. I always say I'm better off, but what if all my kinky dreams could become true. Actually I don't even want that... but still. 

Ştii cum este să iubeşti pe cineva, nu, nu să iubeşti. (iubirea este un lucru prea mare, cu care  nu ar trebui să mă joc niciodată )...mmmm... să ai o pasiune (să-i zic aşa), pentru cineva, şi niciodată să nu ai curajul să spui tare ceea ce simţi? Ough, păi ei bine, eu chiar mă confrunt cu aşa ceva de o perioadă de vreme, înăuntrul meu, şi încă nu ştiu ce am găsit aşa de special la acest băiat. Adică, el este mai mult decât normal, şi nici măcar nu este genul meu, dar tot are ceva...ceva... La naiba. Uite ce am făcut! Am pus prea multe sentimente adânci, iar eu nici măcar nu sunt aşa.
Mereu spun nu. Mereu spun că îmi este mai bine fără, dar dacă toate visele mele, nu chiar cuminţi, s-ar împlini? De fapt, eu nici nu vreau aşa ceva... dar totuşi.
 destroy what destroys you.