Wednesday, December 7, 2011

I dreamed of being that cool kid, even if it meant acting stupid

When I say ‘em or do something I do it, I don’t give a damn. What you think, I’m doing this for me, so fuck the world!
Relax, I ain’t going back to that now.  I’m way too up to back down, but I think I’m still tryna figure this crap out. Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn’t. This fucking black cloud’s still follow’s me around, but it’s time to exercise these demons, these motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now!
 I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of  my world, haters can make like bees with no stingers, and drop dead, no more beef flingers, no more drama from now on.
I shoot for the moon, but I’m too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing and I’m not afraid.

Just as soon as I walk in, it's like all eyes on me, so I try to avoid any eye contact, 'cause if I do that then it opens a door for conversation,  like I want that... I'm not looking for extra attention, I just want to be just like you, blend in with the rest of the room, maybe just point me to the closest restroom, I don't need no fucking man servant, trying to follow me around and wipe my ass, laugh at every single joke I crack, and half of them ain't even funny like, "Ha!, Marshall you're so funny man, you should be a comedian, god damn". Unfortunately I am, but I just hide behind the tears of a clown, so why don't you all sit down? Listen to the tale I'm about to tell, hell, we don't gotta trade our shoes, and you ain't gotta walk no thousand miles...
I was never the type of kid to wait by the door and pack his bags, who sat on the porch and hoped and prayed, for a dad to show up who never did. I just wanted to fit in at every single place, every school I went, I dreamed of being that cool kid, even if it meant acting stupid!

I learned my lesson then cause I wasn't tryna impress my friends no more, but I already told you my whole life story, not just based on my description, 'cause where you see it from where you're sitting, is probably 110% different, I guess we would have to walk a mile, in each other's shoes, at least, what size you wear? I wear tens. Let's see if you can fit your feet..

Yeah, my life a bitch, but you know nothing bout her. Been to hell and back, I can show you vouchers. I'm rolling Sweets, I'm smoking sour, married to the game but she broke her vows. That's why my bars are full of broken bottles, and my night stands are full of open Bibles. I think about more than I forget, but I don't go around fire expecting not to sweat, and these niggas know I lay them down, make their bed. Bitches try to kick me while I'm down: I'll break your leg!

Til I'm toppling from the top I'm not going to stop. I'm standing on my Monopoly board, that means I'm on top of my game and it don't stop, til my hip don't hop anymore. When you so good that you can't say it, because it ain't even cool for you to sound cocky anymore. People just get sick cause you spit. These fools can't drool or dribble a drop anymore, and you can never break my stride. You never slow the momentum at any moment I'm about to blow, you'll never take my pride, killing the flow, slow venom and the opponent. Is getting no mercy, mark my words, ain't letting up, relentless, I smell blood, I don't give a fuck: keep givïng them hell. Where was you when I fell and needed help up? You get no love!

I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like, and right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe, I can't breathe but I still fight all I can fight, as long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight.

High off on love, drunk from my hate. It's like I'm huffin' paint and I love it. The more I suffer, I suffocate, right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me, she fuckin' hates me, and I love it.

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